sighz... what to do!!!! ahhh!!!! my blog seems ruined..... I dunnoe what to do.... hehheh..... my tag board is floating everywhere... can someone help me!!!!

hmmmz... backies... sighz... everything started well today.... but later was alil ruined.... but after that went back to normal again.... went shoppin with my few cousins, Amanda, Amelia, and Bryan. hahaha Bryan as usual was so annoying but in a cute way heehee... then amanda actually wanted to buy a new blouse for new year... but becoz of some complications, she did not buy... sighz... hahaha then I bought 2 blouses and a pair of heels!!! heehee but the pair of heels are to be kept till like... ermz... chinese new year... hmmmz.... I wonder if I can resist the temptation of not wearing it... heehee... Well... somehow... everything did not go well for me... I waited so long to meet my darling todae but he had to disappoint me.... In a way that he did smthing behind my back and had no intention of telling me if I had not asked.... I do not wanna reallie type the whole story out but I seriously feel so utterly disappointed in him.... Now the problem is the trust that I have in him.... The level of trust that I have in him sort of dropped alil.... I dunnoe when will it go back up again.... I hope that it will be soon..... hmmmz.... trust.... what is trust???
If I was caught up in the "Heat of the moment" with you,
could I trust you?
Trust you to understand if I didn't want to go all the way?
Trust you to stop if I start having doubts?
If I had a secret, could I trust you with it?
Trust you to keep it to yourself, even if we were mad at each other?
Trust you to keep it to yourself, no matter how shoking the secret was?
If we were in a relationship, could I really trust you?
Trust you to be faithful, no matter how many temptations you had?
Trust you to be truthful, no matter how sad or shocking the truth is?
hmmmz.... hope that everything will be fine soon.... Tmr he's going for a fishing trip I truely hope that he enjoys himself.... well... its late think i had batter turn in so goodnite.... and I shall continue someday else... cheeridoodles...

hey hey... hmmz.... its been quite awhile since i typed an entry... well so here i am... back!!! woohoo!!! well... my house is under renovation so therefore...I'm stayin at my grand mama's place.... Everyone here hass been reallie nice to me and I could really feel the warmth they give to me by my uncle, aunts cousins and grandma... haha.... My cousin Angeline and I share a room and we would stay up in the middle of the night... talking and talking and talking till we both fall asleep. but the next day, both of eyes would turn black!! haha.... Well.... yesterday it was Amelia's graduation night.... she looks sooo different with he new hair do and make up... that was the first time I saw her in make up.... she looks so stunning... when Amanda, Angeline, Bryan and I stood next to her, we felt aas though she was some superstar and we were her bodyguards... haha... Hope that everything went well for her that night. *smilez* Later I'll be taking my advance theory for driving.... i wonder how will it be like.... the thought of it makes me feel scared..... what if i fail? *sharks* ok girl... think of happy thoughts... maybe I would pass... *grinz* AH!!!! all these are making me all so nervous.... *scary*.... ok... Happy thoughts: later gonna see my darling liao... miss him soooo much..... never seen him for 2 days liaoz.... *orh...* last time when in school... I get to see him everyday... but now,..... approximately once a week.... miss him miss him miss him..... ah!!!! driving me nuts... heehee..... reallie wanna cherish all the times that we haf together.... esp during the hols cos he's busy with work and i'm busy jian feiing... haha but my jian fei ji hua dun seem to work leh... *sighz* gonna make angel wake up to jog with me every week... woahhahahaha... think she'll hate me for that... *evil laughter* ai yo got soooo much to write... hahaha... think pple will be getting bored reading so much heehee.... thou shall stop here and continue another day... heehee....

wELl....ThIs ShaLl bE mY fIrSt eNtry hErE....
I m HaVinG mIxEd emoTiOnS nOw...I hAvE nO iDea Why... PpLe AsK mE wAt Is wRonG wIth Me bUt I hAvE nO iDea... I FeEL sO lOsT...sO HelPLesS....Is ThErE aNyOne Who kNoWs wAT I'm TaLkIng aBoUt....cOs I do NoT hAvE a clUe As To Wat I'm tYpinG aS wElL.....HeRe's A pOeM i"ve FouNd mAybE iT mIghT gIve SoMe AnsWers To How I'm FeElInG......

Why does everything seeem to go wrong?
I try to keep a good face,
I do my best to stay strong.
It's just so hard when you're constantly feeling like you have to lie.
About your life and about the times you cry.
I feel like I should hide all my pain and everything I keep buried in my soul.
Do you know how exactly this feels?
I've never felt something this cold.
You might say, "I know exactly how you feel."
But you never will, at least not for real.
You'll never have the pain I hide deep within me.
Not until you look through my eyes and see what they see.
My heart just feels so empty and so full of pain,
and even sometimes my fear hurts and loneliness builds up and makes the anger towards myself hard to mantain